Reasons I lose at Super Hexagon

Super HexagonHaving played a bit more of Super Hexagon now, I thought I’d continue my policy of talking about the game in ways that are absolutely not reviews. Having fawned over the soundtrack, and then fawned over the contribution the soundtrack makes to the game, let’s look at some of the reasons one might not succeed in one’s chosen career as a Hexagon Whisperer.

Reasons I Lose At Super Hexagon

  1. The pathetic shortcomings of these human thumbs
  2. Nerve impulses travel slower than sound
  3. The bald man on the train is judging me
  4. I have my thumbs in plasters for reasons emphatically unrelated to Super Hexagon
  5. Stopping to listen to the soundtrack
  6. Rotational controls are for machines, not biologicals
  7. The train is at my station and the rude staff won’t hold it there until I finish
  8. A one-year-old is gnawing on my knee
  9. The existential conflict of the frailty of existence and the cheapness of death (aka ‘Game Over. Again.’ syndrome)
  10. My grip slips and I hammer with desperate futility at the phone’s home button rather than rotating smoothly right

Not Reasons I Lose At Super Hexagon

  1. The game is unfair
  2. The controls are poor

Leave a Reply

Post Navigation